Nothing but self-will can separate us from God.
-- St. Alphonsus Liguori
Sometimes I feel as though I am in a drought. As if all the life that I had in me is gone. Sometimes on my journey I can feel indifferent and it is hard to get back on track. I think I know what this is, it speaks to the necessity of perseverance. If we do not persevere in our relationship with God, if we become luke-warm in anyway, this has a ripple effect. We can begin to feel separate from God, which is essentially the definition of sin. In this separation, we feel off, we feel dried out, we feel that sense of focus drained away.
I know that on this journey and pilgrimage of life that there are ebbs and flows, valleys and peaks. We have highs, we have lows and sometimes our relationship with God is not much different. But, that is not because God leaves or dries us out, it is because we, in our own free will separate ourselves from God. This separation causes negative consequences and misdirection, that is why it is so essential we persevere and that taking time with God becomes part of our daily routine, less we grow more separate and independent. This is like any relationship really. If we don't take the time, if we do not commit ourselves and persevere, we grown apart, we begin to yearn to become independent and this separation in the long run can cause sin and pain and deplete our relationships' living water, that is so essential for them to grow.
Sometimes, I am too independent and this has led me to want more. The idea of anyone or anything clipping my wings is frankly revolting to me at times. However, I have to admit that even though this independence has granted me accomplishments, it has not necessarily granted me true peace or acceptance of God's will and more than I would like to admit, it has made me separate myself from him and others. In some ways, I feel very tired and dried out, and unfocused both on my relationship with God, others and on some necessary tasks that are literally right before me today.
Release me of my need to always feel and want independence. Grant me your clarity and focus with all my tasks this day. Bless our time together and my time with others. Let the order of your natural will happen to me this day and help me to sit back and let you unfold your plan, so that I may be separate from you no longer.